Jesus' Resume (satire)

Apparently Jesus wants the top management position in your heart.  This copy of his resume was found over at  It's satire, but makes me wonder what accomplishments Jesus really could put down.  One might think just being the Son of God would be sufficient.  Some of the comments on the site are helpful here.  One of them says the following are missing from the resume:
  • Led a group of 12 followers with success
  • Able to solve problems with ease (turned water into wine) (John 2:1-11)
  • Easily can make up errors in accounting (If I can turn one loaf of bread into enough to feed many fixing the numbers in the books should be easy ) (Matthew 14:13–21)
  • Experience in being a mediator. (I Tim. 2: 5)
  • Would walk on water if needed to get this job (Matthew 14:22-33)
  • Has given time and money to charitable causes