My Forgiveness Quandary

'Forgive' photo (c) 2011, Ross Griff - license:
OK...  I'm troubled here.  That should come as no surprise.

Here's the story again....My lovely wife has been wronged.  An anonymous, and seemingly baseless, complaint was made about the schedule she's been trying to keep at the school.  Lots of dialogue with the School District and the Union.  The end result is that she was forced to resign from her School Librarian position which she loves.  And all of this appears to have happened over a minor issue that could have been resolved if the person who had the complaint had talked with my wife.  But, the person didn't.

This has made me angry.  We'll say, VERY angry.

I know that vengeance, anger, grudges, etc. are unhealthy, unholy, unneeded and will just tear a person up.  I know that.

And I know that forgiveness is the way to not only heal a broken relationship but heal the person who has been wronged, freeing them from the past.  I know that.

There's lots of awesome stuff in the bible about forgiveness.  It reads like a "greatest hits" album:

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (NIV)

Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (NIV)

Matthew 6:14-16
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (NIV)

Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. (NIV)

So, yeah, I should be moving on my way towards forgiveness.

I think it Corrie Ten Boom who said, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free and realize that the prisoner was you." I want to be free.  I know it's still early in the process, but freedom sounds a lot better than what my feelings were last week.


Here's here's where I run into some problems:

What do you do when the wrong that has been committed against you (or, in this case, against someone I love) is has not been officially revealed who the person is?

What do you do when you still have to show up to work with the person you believe wronged you and, perhaps, still have your kids learning from him/her?

I know you can and should forgive regardless of the desire of the other to be forgiven (see the Corrie Ten Boom quote above). But, what do you do when the person who has wronged you denies their involvement...not giving you anything to really forgive?

Do you sense my quandary?

I'm in a "better place" with this issue THIS WEEK than I was LAST WEEK.

But there's a long way to go.