I'm sorry if that came on a little strong.  It wasn't intended for you.  Really.

Nor was it intended for my cell phone in my pocket, which I was just sure was going to beep with an important text message or ring with a phone call.

It wasn't intended for my clock ticking every so loudly in the next office at church.

I didn't even mean it for the cars going by outside.

No, it was intended for my brain...my wandering mind.

There I sat in the comfy recliner in my office, all ready to enter into my 20 minutes of silent prayer.

I don't "do" silent very well. I knew this would be a challenge.  But, our discipleship small group has covenanted to 20 minutes of silent prayer every day this week. This is all about us trying to find our identity in God amidst all of the other identities we try to put on.

So, 20 minutes.

How hard could that be?

It's JUST 20 minutes.

Well....  for me....  it's a little hard.

My brain kept wandering to the various sounds I'd hear and then to the feelings I was feeling and then the people I was concerned about and the things I had to do today and the walk I was going to take and the fact that I was trying to sit there in the presence of God and I couldn't get away from the presence of my thoughts.

I did, thankfully, keep going back to some of the breath prayers I was trying to hold onto.

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner."

And then...

"O taste and see that the Lord is good!"

I kept coming back to them but my mind was kind of like a car driving around on our slippery roads.  Every time I seemed to get a little traction, I'd slip and struggle to get my grip again.

On and on it went. Progress.  A slip.  Traction.  Distraction.

Eventually I broke down and got up out of my seat to check the clock.  I mean, surely, it had to have been 20 minutes already.  Didn't it?

Nope.  17.

So, back I went to pray again.  But at this point it was probably a little late.  With such a short window my prayers never really found any footing.

And then it was over.

This could be a long week.

Now, if I'd just get my brain to shut up for a while.