Image via WikipediaIn light of yesterday's quote from Michelangelo, "Criticize by creating," I offer you this Andy Stanley quote:
"Mature people don't look for someone to blame. They look for something to do."
Good one, huh.
via
Showing posts with label Conflict. Show all posts
Mature People
Image via WikipediaIn light of yesterday's quote from Michelangelo, "Criticize by creating," I offer you this Andy Stanley quote:
Good one, huh.
via
Battling Orcs & Conflict
"There are ways to take issue with something...without categorizing it as though you are battling with the orcs at Helm's Deep."
Doug Wilson
(HT/JaredWilson)
Do You Need "Tough Skin" to Be a Pastor?
Saw the cartoon below over at David Hayward's site, NakedPastor. Now, having followed David's blog and comics for a year or so, I know that he had a difficult period in his ministry. I think he resonates with the cartoon.
For myself, I can think of a few instances where "tough skin" or "thick skin" were definitely needed in my own ministry--two more painful than the others. In one case, my desire to do outreach to Hispanic persons in the community was met with a loud rejection by some members of the congregation I served. There were angry letters and angry meetings. But, probably the most hurtful part was persons walking out of the worship service before communion. That seemed like an intentional attack on my pastoral identity. Was it? I don't know. A lot of years have come and gone since then. Everyone's moved on. But, even though I had to have tough skin and try not to take it personally, I'm not sure I did a very good job with that. The other serious case is less defined and harder to describe. However, it involved persons questioning my integrity, my trustworthiness. There was one real bad meeting that involved my wife leaving in tears. It was painful.
But, I'm not sure I ever thought of it as having "tough skin" but rather trying to see what the underlying reasons for the complaints/concerns/attacks were. I guess I've always known that many of the hurtful issues that come up in the church really aren't so much about "me." (There may be some that were about me. I'll admit that.)
On the other hand, I guess being able to step back and look at the root causes of crisis and concern and not take it all personally does require "tough skin."
Thanks, David, for making me think today.
"Yes Men" and "Yes Women" in the Church or a Loyal Opposition
Image via Wikipedia
As the only pastor at a small Alaskan church in a small Alaskan town, I wield a lot of power. Now, I don't mean that in any nefarious way with an evil laugh added for effect. What I mean is that I have found little opposition to my hopes and dreams and visions for the congregation I serve. Most smaller churches tend to be "Pastor-Led." And people, I think, genuinely like me and respect my opinion (at least I hope that's the case). I think I prayerfully consider my approach to ministry and where it is that the church is being called by God. And, I'll humbly say that I think I'm a pretty bright guy and able to make some pretty good decisions.
More or less.
Moreover, I think I can be pretty persuasive. This can be a good and a bad thing.
This is not without a large asterisk noting that I have made mistakes along the way...some that have hurt individuals (by words and actions) and some that have hurt the church (through some brash decisions or not following through). I have made many mistakes and I know I will continue to make them. I'm not going to get into detail here because I just don't want to.
More or less.
Moreover, I think I can be pretty persuasive. This can be a good and a bad thing.
This is not without a large asterisk noting that I have made mistakes along the way...some that have hurt individuals (by words and actions) and some that have hurt the church (through some brash decisions or not following through). I have made many mistakes and I know I will continue to make them. I'm not going to get into detail here because I just don't want to.
However, one of the things I know I've had difficult time with is making sure I have folks around me who are able to challenge me--to try to keep my feet to the ground when I'm dreaming and force me to think big when I'm being cautious. These are the folks who need to remind me of budget restraints and point out when a study or sermon or worship idea has fallen flat or is not what the church needs right now. These are the folks I can turn to, early on, to help me shape an idea before "going public" with it or can tell me to scale back my activities or get more involved in the community of which I'm a part. These are folks who speak the truth in love...whether or not I'm their pastor or friend. I think there is a need for this to help with discerning God's will and direction for myself and the church.
