Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
How I Celebrated Thanksgiving
“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” – Jon Stewart
"Boogerpants!" No More
Oh, to be four years old again.
This was a conversation I had with Bethany this morning as I was attempting to get her and her twin sister out of the house. At the time, Abigail, as usual, was tormenting Bethany.
Bethany: Daddy, Abigail called me a BOOGERPANTS!
Me: Are you a boogerpants?
Bethany: No!
Me: Do you, right now, have any boogers on your pants?
Bethany: No!
Me: Then, you're not a boogerpants. Now please go brush your teeth.
Isn't interesting that, from a very early age, we're inclined to define ourselves by how others see us. "Boogerpants" might be a somewhat extreme example.
How many overweight kids see themselves primarily as "the fat kid" because that's what others call them?
How many girls live into the role of being "easy" because they get called names like "slut" or "whore?"
How many boys become the class bully because they're trying to live up to some ideal of "tough" or "manly" that's been set by others?
How many kids can't quite seem to shake the "nerd" or "geek" label that's been thrust upon them?
How many adults try to be "Supermom" or "Superdad" and spend all their time and energy trying to fake being a "Super Family" when everything's falling apart?
All along, we're only seeing ourselves as others see us, somehow forgetting to see ourselves as God sees us, as beloved children of God...
"BOOGERPANTS!" no more.
11 Reasons for Humor And Joy
Image via WikipediaThis is from a book I'll have to read. "Between Heaven and Mirth: Why Joy, Humor, and Laughter Are at the Heart of the Spiritual Life," by James Martin, S.J. Copyright © 2011 by James Martin, S.J. I'm a firm believer in laughter...and, yes, laughter in church.
- Humor and joy evangelize others by showing our hope.
- Humor can shock listeners into recognizing reality.
- Self-deprecating humor reminds us not to take ourselves too seriously.
- Humor can speak truth to power.
- Joy, humor and laughter show Christian courage in the face of adversity.
- Humor deepens our relationship with God by encouraging us to smile in prayer.
- Humor and laughter welcome others into a group.
- Laughter helps in the healing process.
- Humor fosters good human relations.
- Laughter relaxes us and so opens our minds.
- Humor is fun, a gracious gift to enjoy.
The iPhone 5: To Have Real Light Saber & Be Edible!
I am a self-professed "Apple Fanboy." I type this on a MacBook Pro. I have myself an iPad which I use throughout the day. My iPod Touch contains all my music and podcasts. And I pay attention to all of the media hype surrounding Apple products. I don't, however, have an iPhone.
Today, Apple will reveal it's next iPhone. iPhone 5 or iPhone 4S, whatever it is, will get a lot of media hype. What's so very cool is that Jimmy Kimmel's parking lot security guard has provided the scoop of some of the expected features. It has a real light saber and will be edible. Plus, a new boomerang feature will enable it to be thrown and come back to you. This will help with all the hunting I can do with it down in Australia.
Enjoy...
Funny Similes -- Enjoy!
Image via WikipediaSome similes are good.
Some are bad.
The ones below are just funny.
They apparently come from a Washington Post humor contest in 1999.
Regardless, they made me laugh.
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
"Hunting for His Birthday"
Image via WikipediaHaving fun with tweens.
This is a conversation at the Tween Group this afternoon as we discussed "harmony in our families." It was followed with a little study on Cain and Abel.
ME: Have you ever been jealous of a brother or sister?I thought it was hilarious.
EVERYONE: Yes.
ME: What were you particularly jealous of?
TWEEN: My brother got to go to Washington to go hunting and I didn't get to go?
ME: Hunting for what?
TWEEN: For his birthday.
ME: Did he find it?
It's Good to Laugh: British Animal Voiceovers
Yeah, that's right. "British Animal Voiceovers."
Really.
This is very funny.
Great for a rainy Tuesday afternoon.
Wrong Worship (What If We Sang What We Really Meant)
This is a video from a church in Orlando, Florida last month. It gets at our individualistic and self-centered approaches to worship while spoofing some popular worship songs.
While this is extremely funny.... it calls the state of worship in some our churches into question.
How to we make it less about us and more about God?
How do we move persons to make worship less about Sunday and more about life?
We Have Ourselves A "Girdwood Squirrel Revival"
Or, at least we have a squirrel who found his way into our new church. Don't know where he came from, but we know we need to make sure he and his buddies don't come in again.
He enjoyed several bags of cookies left over from our "Cookie Flinging" on Sunday, leaving a trail out of the sanctuary.
He also enjoyed Seven Layer Bars.
We have a live trap showing up today, Saturday, to see if we can put an end to his foraging for food in the church, particularly since we have a food pantry with lots of items like pastas.
So, in honor of our squirrel, I leave you with Ray Stevens' "Mississippi Squirrel Revival"
